Kapi-Mana News : November 22nd 2011
23 KAPI-MANA NEWS, NOVEMBER 22, 2011 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 3528559AA 3D CINEMAS THURSDAY WHEN A CITY FALLS (M) Offensive Language DRIVE (R18) Contains Graphic Violence & Offensive Language CONTAGION (M) Offensive Language I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT (PG) Coarse Language & Sexual References www.readingcinemas.co.nz OR CALL OUR MOVIE HOTLINE: 04 237 1070 FOR SESSION TIMES PLEASE VISIT OUR WEBSITE ALSO SHOWING PHOTO ID REQUIRED FOR ALL (R) & (RP) RATED MOVIES READING CINEMAS PORIRUA NORTH CITY SHOPPING CENTRE NOW SHOWING M Contains Violence & Sex Scenes R16 Graphic Violence G 3932782A R MANA COLLEGE MANA COLLEGE Providing futures for today’s young people PHONE: 04 237 5424 AZTEC FINANCE 1st Floor 7 Hartham Place South Enterprise Centre — Porirua Ph 237-9200 3646573AA Conditions apply. Subject to availability Long Hair extra 170 Main Road • Tawa PARTY SEASON HAIR PASSES @ SALON SAVOY WITH KRIS AND CHELS HAIR THAT MAKES U GO MMMMM... 4191385AA PASS 1 Now $99 (Value $190) • Full colour or 3/4 head foils • Hair rejuvenating treatment • Stylecut • Party season blow wave PASS 2 Now $45 (Value $85) • Hair rejuvenation treatment • Stylecut • Party season blow wave BE QUICK ONLY 15 AVAILABLE 4201781AA Pg 17 Treats and trinkets: There will be more than 20 stalls to browse and buy from, including gardening kits, jewellery, hand-made toys, knitting and New Zealand-made gifts for Christmas at the Pukerua Bay Kindergarten Craft Fair this Saturday. The event will be outdoors at the kindy, with coffee and cakes available. The funds raised will go towards upgrading the front entranceway. The craft fair runs from 10am till 2pm. The kindy is at 1 Wairaka Rd. My dull, awkward undead wedding Bored games: Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart) play one of their many games of chess. Hmm, maybe all the good stuff has been saved for the last movie? The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I ★ Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene. Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, directed by Bill Condon. 117 minutes, rated M (violence, sex scenes), showing at Reading Cinemas Porirua, Light House Pauatahanui. Wow, who knew a vampire could get you preggers? Obviously, this is old news for fans of Stephenie Meyer’s insanely popu- lar teen fantasy-soap series, in which the fangless undead, wolfboys and mere mortals get all angst-ridden and loved-up among the moss and malaise of the Amer- ican Northwest. But for the uninitiated, who are strug- gling to maintain any interest in the monosyllabic Bella Swan (Kristen Stew- art) and her warring beaus – Edward the noble nosferatu (Robert Pattinson) and Jacob the whiny wolfy (Taylor Lautner) – the notion of how a bloodless vampire could muster an erection, let alone a healthy sperm count, weighs heavy on the mind. I know it’s all make-believe, but I’m crying foul on this. If a goddamn pop cul- ture legend like Superman can’t knock up Lois Lane – as noted in Kevin Smith’s Mallrats, only Wonder Woman would have a strong enough uterus to carry his child – surely Edward shouldn’t get to play daddy. For crying out loud, the sparkly bas- tard can already walk around in the day- time, and suck blood without fangs. I suppose he can bathe in holy water and munch garlic cloves too? Of course, the last thing any Twilight tale could be confused with is a vampire movie, a point that causes me and I gather many others – Breaking Dawn has a somewhat grim 3.8/10 showing at IMDB.com – some vexation. One craves drama, suspense, bloodlust and bad guys – I was even rooting for those campy Volturi cats to make an appearance – but what we get is a series of Women’s Day cover stories; the wed- ding day bliss, the honeymoon surprise, the pregnancy confessions. Jacob and his wolfpack feign the role of antagonist for some of the movie – pre- pared to break a truce with the vampires because they assume Bella’s unholy spawn will destroy them all – but there is never any real threat that a character will die or commit a dastardly act. Anna Kendrick gives the best perform- ance of the lot, and she’s out of the pic- ture after the first 20 minutes. Lautner, shirtless before you’ve even opened your Jaffas and so wooden I lost him among the pine trees a few times, shows up in almost every bloody scene. Go figure. The languid pacing and dialogue is what I’d expect from a teen television show that plays at 5pm, and is brutally exposed on the big screen, but the Twi- hards seem to lap this s... up, so what do I know? The best thing about Breaking Dawn Part I: this comment from an IMDB.com poster. ‘‘People try and have babies all the time when they are married and so many people [like me] had trouble conceiving, but someone who is dead can get someone pregnant so fast. Bugs me!’’ Priceless.
November 15th 2011
November 29th 2011